Mourning the death of the dishwasher

Opinion

Discussion

March 20, 2013

Mourning the death of the dishwasher

By Jill Pertler The Journal Express The Zope Gazette Wed Mar 20, 2013, 11:43 PM CDT

By Jill Pertler

We’ve had an on-again, off-again relationship for more than a decade. I guess if I’m going to come clean, I shoulder most of the responsibility for the spotty patches. Relationships require a certain amount of effort; I wasn’t consistent about the maintenance needed to keep things running smoothly. I realized I was being lax, but just sort of took things for granted. It happens to the best of us – when it comes to our appliances.

My dishwasher and I existed harmoniously for months – even years – at a time. He did the job he was purchased to do. I supplied him with dirty dishes and 97 minutes later relieved him of clean ones.

We had a perfect relationship – from my perspective. Until spots appeared. Not in front of my eyes, but on cups, plates and silverware. The first time this occurred, I learned spotty dishes are often caused by a phenomenon known as clogged dishwasher jets. The remedy for unclogging jets involves cleaning the dishwasher – which is perhaps the most counter-intuitive task I’ve encountered in years. Since I’ve never considered myself pro-clog (unless we’re talking about footwear) I vowed to stay on top of my maintenance duties by flushing my jets on a regular basis.

This was a great theory – with one massive leak.

As long as the dishwasher kept up his end of the cleaning bargain, I forgot about the gunk building up in his jets – until they started spewing white spots on my cutlery and I knew I better initiate a therapeutic dishwasher intervention – again. (Cycle complete, and then repeat.)

One thing I’ve learned over the years is the best way to solve a problem (besides ignoring it until it goes away) involves peeling back the layers until you get to the core of the issue. In my situation, this meant dismantling the dishwasher part by part, screw by screw, jet by jet.

Over our 13-year relationship, I became intimate with the innards of my dishwasher and had a working – if not nearly personal – relationship with each of his jets. So, when white spots appeared on the dishes last week, I approached the situation with the calm of a yoga master on Xanax.

I took a deep, cleansing breath and proceeded to unscrew, degunk and de-clog with the prowess and flexibility of a woman who’s done it all before. My husband even joined me in the act. I love when we bond over household chores. When complete, we put the machine back together and set him up for a test run (the dishwasher, not my husband).

Five minutes into the wash cycle, my husband took a peek inside and made an important and unfortunate discovery. Clogged jets were only the start of our spotty predicament. Even though we were mid-wash cycle, the inside of the dishwasher remained dry. We had a pump problem. Too complex – and costly – to warrant fixing on a 13-year old machine (which equates to 91 in dog years).

My on-again, off-again relationship with my dishwasher was officially off-again – for good. I now stare at the empty hole in my kitchen where the dishwasher stood sentry for over a decade. Another model will take his place upon delivery in five to seven business days, and a new relationship will begin.

Meanwhile, our old dishwasher has moved on to a better place (for now a semi-hidden spot in the corner of the backyard) where every dish is as clean and spot-free as a tabula rasa. Best of all, I am secure in and comforted by the knowledge that he enters his new home with jets that are clear and completely gunk-free.

Follow Slices of Life on Facebook and hit Like (please). Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, playwright and author of “The Do-It-Yourselfer’s Guide to Self-Syndication” Email her at pertmn@qwest.net; or visit her website at http://marketing-by-design.home.mchsi.com/.

Text Only

Opinion

Slices of Life: I'll do it later "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." Thomas Jefferson Yeah right. I've been meaning to write a column about procrastination - I just never got around to it. Besides, I'm not sure even Thomas Jefferson could abide by his own words 100
May 17, 2013
Some of the lessons of motherhood I've been on the job for more than 21 years, without a day off for longevity, illness, endurance or good behavior. I'm not complaining. I wouldn't want a day off. Not a whole day, anyway. Although I do appreciate 10 minutes under a hot shower within
May 10, 2013
A thought for you How often do you stop and think How much you owe your mother And if she goes away for good You never have another How often do you realize Just how much she's worth The trouble she had raising you That started in at birth And as a child, the care you
May 10, 2013
No Headline Provided To the Editor: In your recent article, "Controversy at Board of Health Meeting", the board had a problem at a meeting and blamed their argument on Robert's Rules of Order. They now plan to discuss whether to use Robert's Rules in the future. Your art
May 10, 2013
The bonds of preschool It was a party 14 years in the making. Attendees included nine moms who met when our kids were in preschool. Now, we came together to anticipate and celebrate those same preschoolers' high school graduations. We sat around a long table at a local res
May 3, 2013
The Sinclair Report
This year’s legislative session was scheduled to last 110 days. We reached that mark on Friday, May 3. Though we are in the final days of the first year of the 85^th General Assembly, our adjournment date remains uncertain.

May 2, 2013 1 Photo
Medicaid expansion will help property tax payers Opponents of Medicaid expansion have mischaracterized the effect its implementation would have on Iowa counties. In pointing out the fact that more Iowans with a need for mental health services would be covered and funded with federal dollars, it is
May 1, 2013
Letter to the Editor To the Editor: I appreciate your candor in explaining your use of quotation marks around the word "affordable" in news stories regarding the Affordable Care Act. The issue here is not affordability but credibility. News is to be presented objectively
May 1, 2013
Iowa's child care, early education providers call for worthy wages For over 20 years, at the beginning of each May, child care providers and other early childhood professionals nationwide recognize Worthy Wage Day (May 1), raising public awareness to highlight the importance of child care provider compensation as pa
May 1, 2013
'Taking time off?!' Some of us like to think that when employees get time off, it is deserved, that their work justifies their vacation time. Not so, unfortunately, with a major group of employees we share. A recent email from our Representative in Washington, DC, Dave
May 1, 2013 1 Photo
More Opinion Headlines

Opinion

Search Results

Discussion

Mourning the death of the dishwasher

Do you intend to volunteer for RAGBRAI®'s stop in Knoxville?

Site Map

Contact Us